THE VIRILITY SOLUTION: ANXIETIES RELATED TO SEXUAL MATTERS

Posted by admin on March 27, 2009 under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction | Be the First to Comment

One of the most common obstacles to satisfying sex stems from feelings of anxiety. There are numerous causes, including fear of not being able to perform adequately, dissatisfaction with penis size, self-consciousness about body appearance (especially weight), and financial or health concerns. Sometimes fear itself is a factor.

On a strictly physiological basis, anxiety can effectively prevent a man from becoming aroused and getting or maintaining an erection. It can also limit or even destroy spontaneity and curtail the partner’s exploration of new sexual territory.

Consider the case of Linda and Greg. His ED had been brought on by a combination of factors including obesity, insomnia, and stress. Sadly, all three of his conditions were a response to Linda’s precarious state of health. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of thirty-eight. Greg, three years older and devoted to his wife, wasn’t all that surprised when his own problems began. When they came to see me two years later, their circumstances had, fortunately, changed. Linda had come through surgery and a course of radiation weak but determined. Her prognosis was excellent. Greg, however, still had his ED.

“It’s not that I don’t want to have erections again,” he began nervously. “It’s that I’m worried that after I take the medication and can function again, I’ll hurt Linda. She’s so thin and frail, I’m afraid to have sex with her.”

“You’ve been scared to touch me for two years,” she challenged him.

“That’s because I saw what was happening to you and it put a brake on me.”

Linda regarded him with a combination of sadness and anger. “I think you’re just put off by how I look. Be honest, Greg—isn’t it true?”

Smiling ruefully, he answered, “The truth is, I look a lot worse than you do.”

Throwing her hands up in the air, Linda exclaimed, “The competition never ends. Greg, I want you to know—in front of a witness— that I want you again, spare tire and all. If you want me, then it’s with my buzz cut and protruding ribs. But you have to stop being afraid of me. I’m not going to break—and you’re not going to hurt me any more than I’m going to hurt you.”

This situation is not an unusual one: sex is often a casualty of cancer. Please note that sex will not cause the disease to spread; nor are women who receive radiation dangerous to your health. (This is a particular concern for men whose partners have cervical cancer.)